Will a Therapist Tell Me to Divorce?

By Roma Williams, LMFT-S

When couples face serious difficulties in their relationship, the thought of seeking therapy often comes with a mix of hope and apprehension. One common concern is whether a therapist might advise or pressure them to divorce. This is a natural worry, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable about the future of your relationship. Let’s explore whether a therapist will tell you to divorce and what you can expect from the therapeutic process.

The Role of a Therapist

First and foremost, it’s important to understand the role of a therapist. Therapists are trained professionals who provide guidance and support to help individuals and couples navigate their challenges. Their primary goal is to help you gain insight into your relationship, understand your feelings, and explore possible paths forward. However, it’s crucial to know that a therapist’s role is not to make decisions for you but to empower you to make the best decisions for yourself.

At Unload It Therapy, in Houston, Tx we understand our role and sphere of influence in our cleints lives. We utilize that power to encourage and support our clients, instead of manipulate them or influence them with our opinions. After all, you are utilizing your valuable time and resources to seek the services of a professional, you can get an opinion from anywhere.

Therapists Do Not Make Decisions for You

One of the core principles of therapy is that the therapist respects your autonomy. This means that therapists do not make decisions for you, including whether you should divorce or stay together. Instead, they help you explore your options, and your feelings and processes around them. Therapist can also help you to understand the consequences of each choice, and support you in making a decision that feels right for you.

Discernment Counseling and Decision-Making

In the context of discernment counseling—a specific type of therapy designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship—the focus is on helping both partners decide what the future should look like for the marriage or relationships. Even in this setting, the therapist does not tell you what to do. Instead, they guide you through a research driven process of reflection and exploration, helping you gain clarity and confidence in your decision-making.

Therapists Provide Perspective, Not Directives

While therapists won’t tell you to divorce, they may provide perspectives that help you see the situation more clearly. For example, they might help you identify patterns of behavior that are harmful or point out areas where your relationship is particularly strong. This insight can be invaluable in helping you make an informed decision. However, the final decision is always yours to make.

Respecting Your Values and Goals

Therapists are also committed to respecting your values, goals, and beliefs. If you express a desire to stay together and work on the relationship, the therapist will support you in that goal and help you explore ways to improve the relationship. If you’re leaning toward separation, the therapist will help you understand what that process might look like and how to manage it in the healthiest way possible.

What If You Want Guidance?

If you’re seeking more direct guidance, it’s important to communicate that to your therapist. While they won’t tell you what to do, they can help you weigh the pros and cons of different options, discuss potential outcomes, and provide tools to help you make the best decision for your circumstances. This collaborative approach ensures that you’re making a decision that aligns with your values and is informed by both your own insights and the therapist’s expertise.

Conclusion

No, a therapist will not tell you to divorce. Their role is to support you, provide perspective, and help you navigate the complexities of your relationship. Whether you’re in traditional couples therapy or discernment counseling, the decision to stay together or part ways is ultimately yours to make. The therapist’s job is to ensure that you have the clarity, confidence, and understanding needed to make the best decision for your life and relationship.

If you’re feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship, therapy can be a valuable resource. It offers a safe space to explore your feelings, consider your options, and move forward with greater clarity and confidence—whether that means working on your marriage or making the difficult decision to part ways. 

If you want to do this with your spouse, consider contacting us today to start the process of discernment counseling!

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