Discernment counseling is a unique form of therapy designed to help couples decide whether to stay together and work on their relationship or move toward separation or divorce. One of the key aspects of this process is the series of questions posed by the therapist to both partners. These questions are carefully crafted to help each person reflect on their feelings, understand their relationship better, and gain clarity about their options. In this blog, we’ll explore the types of questions you can expect during the discernment therapy process.
Questions to Explore Individual Perspectives
Discernment counseling often begins with questions that help each partner articulate their feelings about the relationship and their individual desires. These questions are designed to uncover each person’s thoughts and emotions regarding the state of the relationship.
- “What do you hope to achieve from discernment counseling?”
- “What concerns do you have about continuing in the relationship?”
- “What led you to consider separation or divorce?”
These questions help our Houston based therapists understand where each partner stands and what they hope to gain from the counseling process.
Questions to Assess Commitment and Willingness
Another important aspect of discernment counseling is assessing each partner’s level of commitment to the relationship and their willingness to work on it. The therapist may ask questions to gauge how invested each person is in either staying together or considering separation.
- “What efforts have you made so far to address the issues in your relationship?”
- “What fears or concerns do you have about working on the relationship?”
- “What would make it worth the effort to try to improve the relationship?”
These questions help clarify how much each partner is willing to invest in the relationship moving forward.
Questions to Explore Options and Outcomes
Discernment counseling also involves exploring the possible paths the relationship could take, including staying together, separating, or entering couples therapy. The therapist will ask questions to help both partners consider the potential outcomes of each option.
- “What do you imagine life would look like if you chose to stay in the relationship as it is?”
- “What are your biggest concerns about the possibility of separating or divorcing?”
- “What impact do you think each option would have on your family, particularly if you have children?”
These questions are intended to help both partners envision the future and weigh the pros and cons of their options.
Questions to Understand the Root Causes of Issues
To help the couple gain insight into the underlying issues affecting their relationship, the therapist may ask questions that encourage deeper reflection on what has led to the current situation.
- “What do you believe are the main issues causing problems in your relationship?”
- “Have there been attempts to address these issues before? If so, what were the results?”
- “What role do you think you’ve played in contributing to these issues?”
These questions help uncover the root causes of the couple’s difficulties and provide a foundation for understanding whether those issues can be resolved.
Questions to Facilitate Mutual Understanding
A critical part of discernment counseling is helping each partner understand the other’s perspective. The therapist may ask questions that encourage empathy and mutual understanding.
- “How do you think your partner feels about the current state of the relationship?”
- “What do you believe are your partner’s biggest fears regarding the future of your relationship?”
These questions promote a deeper understanding between partners, which is essential for making informed decisions about the future.
Discernment counseling is a process of exploration, reflection, and decision-making, guided by thoughtful and probing questions. These questions help both partners understand their own feelings, consider their options, and gain clarity about the future of their relationship. While the process can be challenging, it offers a structured approach to making one of life’s most important decisions—whether to stay together or part ways. By engaging with these questions honestly and openly, couples can reach a decision that aligns with their true desires and values. Contact us today to start the process of discernment counseling today.
