Well, we’ll tell you the truth…… EFT is for everyone!
Emotionally focused therapy is a great model because it works for many different populations, including individuals, families, and couples. EFT research says it is a highly effective model with a 90% success rate. In addition, 75% of couples will move from being distressed to be more content in their relationship. Also, growing research demonstrates the model’s efficacy when working with LGBTQ+ couples and those in polyamorous relationships.
What is it?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is designed to help couples and family reconnect, strengthen their bond, and break free from negative interaction cycles. This therapy model consists of three stages and nine structured steps, offering a slower, more controlled approach compared to other methods. This makes it particularly effective for relational units experiencing heightened emotional conflict. Through EFT, partners and family members gradually learn to access and express deeper emotions toward one another, fostering a stronger, more meaningful connection over time.
What does it do?
EFT is highly effective in addressing the following challenges:
- Communication breakdowns: Helping couples and families navigate miscommunications and improve their ability to express needs, feelings, and concerns openly.
- Emotional disconnection: Rebuilding emotional intimacy and fostering a deeper bond between partners who feel distant or disengaged.
- Past attachment injuries: Supporting healing from unresolved emotional wounds or traumas that may impact current relationships.
- Infidelity recovery (not active affairs): Guiding couples through the process of rebuilding trust and connection after infidelity has occurred, provided the affair has ended.
Can this work for me?
If all parties are committed to the process and the relationship, yes, it can absolutely work! The truth is, relationships need ongoing maintenance and commitment, and this is especially true when engaging in therapy for your relationship or family. Therapy is a collaborative process, and there is a certain degree of effort and introspection that needs to happen for meaningful change to occur. When in couples therapy or marriage counseling, it’s important to understand that it’s not about sitting back and leaving the th
erapist to do all the heavy lifting. That approach simply won’t lead to the best results. The same principle applies to therapy for families and even for individuals.
Instead, all parties involved—including the therapist—must actively participate in the process of change and growth. In the case of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), for example, the therapist works diligently to validate each person’s experience within the relationship, ensuring that everyone feels heard and understood. This validation creates a safe and supportive environment where underlying emotions and patterns can be explored. The therapist also helps to guide the couple or family toward building stronger bonds, improving communication, and fostering deeper emotional connections. The process may feel challenging at times, but with dedication and effort from everyone, therapy can bring about transformative results for relationships and families alike.
Who is it not for?
EFT is not recommended for couples experiencing active infidelity or ongoing domestic violence, as its success depends on creating a safe and secure environment for both partners. Emotional and physical safety are fundamental to building trust and fostering meaningful progress, and without these foundations, the therapeutic process cannot succeed.
Couples navigating these challenges should consider seeking specialized support or interventions to address these issues before pursuing EFT. Safety, in this context, extends beyond physical well-being. While active partner violence is a clear contraindication for EFT, emotional safety is equally critical. Both partners must feel secure in the therapeutic space to explore deeper emotions and strengthen their connection. Without this sense of safety, emotionally focused couples therapy is unlikely to be effective.
In such cases, an alternative approach like EFiT (Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy) may provide a more suitable path forward.
What else should you know?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a powerful approach for helping couples, families, and now individuals heal from attachment injuries and create new meaning in their relationships. It has proven particularly effective for couples navigating challenges like infidelity.
If you’re reading this, I’ll assume you’re human—and if that’s the case, EFT can work for you! As humans, we all experience emotions. We feel fear, pain, anger, and triggers,but at our core, we all crave connection. EFT provides a safe space for these emotions, giving them a voice and allowing us to understand and embrace them on a deeply personal level.
About the Author
Roma Williams is a licensed marriage and family therapist and supervisor (LMFT-S) and the founder of Unload It Therapy in Houston, Texas. She has over a decade of experience in the mental health field, with a history of providing counseling services to individuals, couples, families, and groups. Roma brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to her practice. Her warm and empathetic approach to therapy has transformed the lives of countless clients who have sought her guidance. Roma is now also committed to helping to usher in the next generation of compassionate, responsible therapists through the weekly supervision she provides to the therapists of Unload It Therapy.
