There are so many things couples can gain from premarital counseling. It’s a fantastic way for engaged individuals to improve their communication skills and deal with conflict resolution before the marriage even begins.
Premarital counseling will also help you establish rational goals for your marriage. You’ll be able to set realistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and your future together with the help of a neutral party.
Why is that important?
When you have goals to look forward to and work toward in your marriage, it’s easier to keep in mind that you’re on the same team. Even when you argue and disagree on things, having the same goals and expectations will remind you of what you’re working toward, and help you get back to working together faster.
But, how does premarital counseling help you establish those rational goals?
You’ll Learn More About Yourself
Chances are, you’ve talked to your soon-to-be-spouse about the future. Maybe that’s included conversations about children, finances, where you want to live, or things you want to accomplish.
However, those conversations often fall short of completion. Some people just don’t want to talk about those things, and others are unsure of what they really want.
Premarital counseling can help you discover what you want for your future. It will allow you to become more in tune with your personal values and beliefs, so your expectations can be a reflection of those things.
You’ll Get On the Same Page
Maybe you haven’t had one of those “future talks” with your partner—or, you haven’t taken it as seriously as you should have.
Premarital counseling forces your hand in those conversations—in the best way possible. A counselor will help you both to recognize your personal goals and expectations before letting you work together on them.
Maybe your goals don’t initially line up with your partner’s expectations. Now is a perfect time to work through that kind of conflict or discord, rather than waiting until the wedding is over. Not only will counseling help you both to get your goals out into the open, but the counselor will guide you on how to work through them.
You’ll Focus on Healthy Goals
Maybe you have personal goals or expectations for your marriage that aren’t beneficial to the relationship. Or, maybe your expectations are unrealistic and go too far. It’s often easier to back away from unrealistic expectations when you talk through them with a counselor, rather than arguing about them with a spouse.
Goals are important in a marriage, but they have to be realistic. If you’re setting expectations ahead of time that could never possibly be met, you’re also setting your marriage up for a lot of disagreements.
Communicating Your Goals
Because premarital counseling helps with communication skills, you’ll learn how important it is to talk about your goals for the future regularly. They may change over time, and it’s important that you and your partner both know how to talk about those changes together.
What you want for yourself now might not be the same thing you want in ten years. Counseling can help you adopt an attitude of flexibility and growth, rather than remaining stuck in your ways forever.
You don’t have to have concerns about your marriage to benefit from a counselor. By talking things through ahead of time and establishing rational goals for your marriage, you’ll start your union off on a stronger foot.
If you’ve considered working with a premarital counselor but haven’t set up an appointment, now is the time to do it. You might be surprised by how much you learn about yourself, your partner, and your future.
About the Author
Roma Williams is a Houston-based licensed marriage and family therapist, who is also licensed in the states of Georgia, Florida, and California. Her specialties and clinical interests are systems and relationships. Roma enjoys working with couples, including LGBTQ+ and those who live in polyamorous relationships. As an African American woman, Roma has donated time and efforts to causes championing black women and mental health. Roma also enjoys working with individuals on their relationships with themselves and others. Being a California native, and moving to the south in her adult years, Roma has had plenty of experiences that have shaped her cultural development both professionally and personally. In her spare time, Roma enjoys fashion, all things wine, and traveling.
If you are in Houston or in any part of Texas, Georgia, Florida, or California and are ready to work with Roma click here.
