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Five things couples do wrong

Five things couples do wrong

As a Houston-based marriage and family therapist, I have seen my fair share of couples. Couples usually seek out therapy when things are beyond what they feel they can handle, and they will seek help from an outside source, such as a therapist or clergy member. Since I have worked with couples for almost a decade, in Georgia and now Texas, I have come to have a lot of experience in some of the common reasons relationships to awry.

Photo of a couple not connected as they have not come for couples counseling at Unload it Therapy with Roma Williams, LMFT. Roma utilizes emotionally focused therapy in order to re create connection with couples. Roma is a Houston based black therapist who is on line in Texas and Georgia

1 . You Do not communicate honestly

For some reason, when we get into relationships, the level of communication decreases. Chances are, the individuals in the relationship have suffered from communication challenges and have brought them into the relationship. Couples must be honest with what they need and what they are looking to make a successful connection happen.

 

2. Couples Tend to Stop Dating

Relationships are just that, relationships! They are not to get neglected after the couplehood is formed or the marriage is official. However, life happens, and we all get that. And with responsibilities and kids, etc., it can hard to maintain the same cadence as when you first met. There needs to be an effort made to keep the romance going and continue investing in your partner and the relationship. As we are blessed to continue to go through life, we grow and evolve. We learn new things about ourselves and the world, and we must share that with our partners. Even if you can make dinner time intentional, once a week, where you talk, connect, etc., your relationship will be better for it.

Satisfied pleased african man in casual sweatshirt with dreadlocks hugging himself, egoistically comforting and relaxing, self esteem therapy in Houston at Unload it Therapy with roma Williams. Tele health in Texas and Georgia. He is apart of a couple and is taking time for himself as he is in couples therapy with Roma where she uses emotionally focused therapy. Roma also does LGBTQ+ individual and couples therapy

3. Seek to be right, rather then to understand

I heard somewhere recently something like ‘show me a man who is always right, and I’ll show you someone single. Relationships are no place always to need to be right or have the last word. This is where you want to come to be heard and to listen as well. Chances are, you are not combatting with your friends 24/7, so the same should be valid for your spouse. Mutual respect is needed, and it is vital to be able to stand your ground at times. To be firm but not rigid in one’s stance on issues as they arise.

 

4. Not maintain self and relationship with self

To blend yourself with another can be a beautiful experience. However, after time goes on and you recognize that you are no longer the person you were before, resentments can start to set in. It is important to remember who you are in all relationships and continue figuring out more about yourself. Develop new interests separate from your partner, keep up with your friends and family members. Watch your favorite shows, and continue your favorite activities. Your relationship will be better for it, as it can also keep the “sparks” going. Take care of yourself as well

Connected couple kissing as they have done emotionally focused therapy at Unload it Therapy in Houston, TX. with roma Williams. Tele health in Texas and Georgia. He is apart of a couple and is taking time for himself as he is in couples therapy with Roma where she uses emotionally focused therapy. Roma also does LGBTQ+ individual and couples therapy

5. Not investing in relationship

Anything that is not cultivated will die. So, think of your relationship as a plant. With water, proper sunshine, and nutrients, your plant will stay alive. This is the same for your relationships. Don’t stop dating just because you’ve been in a relationship or married for an extended period. Talk! Spend time addressing your interests with one another. Having challenges? Invest in couples therapy to get a new way of dealing with one another. Counseling is also great for improving skills like communication and intimacy

About the Author

Roma Williams is a Houston based licensed marriage and family therapist, who is also licensed in the state of Georgia. Her specialities and clinical interests are relationships. Roma enjoys working with couples, including LGBTQ+ and those who live in polyamorous relationships. Roma also enjoys working with individuals on their relationships with self and others. Being a California native, and moving to the south in her adult years, Roma has had a great deal of experiences that have shape her cultural development both professionally and personally. In her spare time, Roma enjoys fashion, fun, and traveling. 

If you are in Houston or in any part of Texas or Georgia and are ready to work with Roma click here. 

 

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