Marriage is one of the most significant milestones in a couple’s life—there’s no denying that. However, the essence of marriage can sometimes get overshadowed by the thrill of an engagement or the whirlwind of wedding planning. If you’re ready to take this next step with your partner, it’s likely you already know them well and have envisioned a future together. But before you walk down the aisle, there are important conversations and considerations every couple should address to build a strong foundation for their marriage. Now is the perfect time to explore these potential challenges. Reflect on your own desires, understand your partner’s, and discuss how you’ll navigate them as a team to create a lasting partnership.
So, what are the key things couples should know—and work through—before saying “I do”? Let’s dive in.
1. Managing Unrealistic Expectations
The excitement and butterflies you feel now won’t necessarily be a constant throughout your marriage. No matter how deeply you love your partner, life moves forward after the wedding. Over time, you might not travel or go out as often as you did when you were dating. Careers, raising children, or simply the demands of busy schedules may mean you spend more time apart than together. But this doesn’t mean your marriage is destined to struggle. It simply means your relationship will require intentional effort to remain a priority. That might be as simple as carving out time to chat about your day a few evenings a week or enjoying a cozy night catching up on your favorite show. By letting go of unrealistic expectations for your partner and your relationship, you can find joy and fulfillment in the everyday rhythm of married life. Embracing the simplicity of your shared routine can make your connection even stronger.
2. Financial Issues
How you choose to handle your finances as a couple is up to you. Some partners choose to have separate bank accounts while others choose to share. What’s important, though, is that you know about any financial issues or struggles your partner might be dealing with before you get married. Do they have a lot of debt? Do they have a steady job? Are they working to pay off that debt, or do they spend more than they should? Understanding any potential financial issues now can save you a lot of stress later. Money can be a stressful thing for couples to talk about, but it’s necessary to work out those issues before you get married, so it doesn’t lead to keeping secrets from one another or underlying fears about your finances.
3. Your Spouse Shouldn’t Be Your Missing Piece
A strong marriage begins with two individuals who are whole on their own. Before walking down the aisle, it’s crucial for both partners to have their own passions, interests, and hobbies—things that bring them joy independently. If you feel drawn to marriage because your partner “completes” you, it’s worth pausing for self-reflection. This perspective can foster co-dependency, create unhealthy attachments, and lead to trust issues down the road. If you’re facing challenges with self-esteem, insecurities, or mental health concerns like anxiety or depression, it’s vital to address these before entering into marriage. Seeking support to work through these struggles isn’t just helpful—it’s essential for building a healthy, balanced relationship. That’s not to say personal growth ends once you’re married. However, your spouse shouldn’t bear the burden of “fixing” your challenges. A successful marriage is built on interdependence, not co-dependence. It thrives when both partners show up as their whole, authentic selves, prepared to support one another—not to complete one another.
4. Plans for the Future
Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment. If you’re not on the same paths, it’s something that needs to be discussed before you make that commitment. That isn’t to say your wants and needs for the future can’t shift over time. But, things like whether to have children, where you’re going to live, and shared responsibilities are big subjects that need to be addressed early on. If you’re not on the same page now, it could cause problems later. Ultimately, being open and honest with your partner is the best way to feel confident about getting married. There are plenty of additional subjects you should talk about, so don’t be afraid to open up a line of conversation. Ask questions and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. The more you know about yourself and your partner before getting married, the stronger your relationship will be. Give yourself the strong foundation that you need for a lasting marriage with premarital counseling in Houston, Tx
Roma Williams is a Houston-based licensed marriage and family therapist, who is also licensed in the states of Georgia, Florida, and California. Her specialties and clinical interests are systems and relationships. Roma enjoys working with couples, including LGBTQ+ and those who live in polyamorous relationships. As an African American woman, Roma has donated time and efforts to causes championing black women and mental health. Roma also enjoys working with individuals on their relationships with themselves and others. Being a California native, and moving to the south in her adult years, Roma has had plenty of experiences that have shaped her cultural development both professionally and personally. In her spare time, Roma enjoys fashion, all things wine, and traveling.
If you are in Houston or in any part of Texas, Georgia, Florida, or California and are ready to work with Roma click here.
